Let them fly!

With all the changes happening around here, I don't know where my head is some days. I wish to thank each and every person who has contacted me wondering when I was going to begin blogging again...After dealing with Mum's estate; It's time I did something for myself again.....Well I guess now is that time.....

Please understand: I've been putting it off because I didn't want the most important post I've published, moving down the blog line.....and that was when I wrote about the recent death of my dear mother. It's taken some time for me to realise; and lots of tears, but I know that mum would want me to keep blogging. So I've moved some things around to keep some very important people at the top of my blog.... 

There will be more changes to my blog (slowly) as I get back into the swing of things....but they'll all be good, I promise.

********************************************

How does that saying go? If you catch a butterfly, let it go, if it comes back, it's yours....Something like that ....the point is...you have to let them fly!

Being a mother to two completely different boys...I often look back at all the one-on-one times with each of them. You know; the times before they decide they want to hang out with their Dad more..or hang out with their mates..you know before they discover girls? My boys are growing up, turning into fine young men too I might add. They've both now gone through all those stages and are both now preparing for their future. 

DS21 is slowly moving into Mum's unit (on our property). Sometimes we call it 'his place', but it will always be 'Mum's place' to me. His girlfriend is moving in with him after Christmas too which is such an exciting stage for a young couple. I'm glad they will be close, as DS21 still likes to come to me for advice, comfort and security. Since Mum has passed away and Hubby works away from home I've realized just how much I depend on the company of my boys. It's a big change for everyone having mum gone, and it's something we are slowly working on...and it's definitely a quiet change I wasn't predicting in my near future. 

Before Mum passed away I had made the decision to allow K to move in with DS21 into his bedroom and that they are welcome to live with us until they save a deposit for a house. I'm at peace now with the decision I made to move them into mum's unit; I know that Mum would agree with me. A young couple needs their space...they would have been rather cramped in his little bedroom....Mum was always looking out for her grandchildren and always wanted what was best for them. 

DS21 will be starting his 3rd year of his apprenticeship (Mum would be so proud of his top marks at TAFE) as an Overhead Linesman Electrician for CityRail and K (his girlfriend) will be begin studying as a Veterinarian Nurse in the new year. It's a big move for K living away from her family (10 hour drive)...but don't worry K's Mum...I know I will look after her as if she was my own. It will be good to have another woman in the house too.

DS17 (18 in the first week of January)  [to soon I might add] has also had some changes with his world too. While he played a big part in his Nan's life, he has had some good distractions to help him cope with her death. DS17 recently obtained his licence and is able to drive a car on his own now. I've bought mum's car for him from her estate and it's a comfort knowing the history of the car and the maintenance that my hubby and boys kept up on it too. Last week DS17 approached the same business where DS21 first started employment and came home with the offer of being accepted for a trial shift. While it yanks hard at the heart strings, I'm pleased and mighty proud of my boys for the growth they have made over the last 12 months..

I guess his trial went well (I knew it would though), because last night DS17 had his 2nd shift at Sam's Pizza delivering the best pizza's in town. Being offered a bright snazzy new uniform I guess he is part of the team now. So now he is part of the workforce now too. He looks so grown up......

Sam's Pizza - DS17 Delivery Driver

This is new to me too, as I'm not used to being on my own for meals, and evenings....another change I wasn't counting on anytime soon.....While I know that this is only a temporary position for him, I also know that he is reaching higher with possibly a trainee-ship in the Army. That's a whole new change I will deal with if/when  the time comes. For now, I take one day at a time!

We all have to start somewhere...I started with babysitting...like lots of my friends at the time...then moved on to a take-away shop on the front counter and on from there......

Looking back...Mum had watched my sister, then my brother both leave the nest and marry....then my father died, then I left the nest....I wonder what things mum did to help her cope with the loneliness, the humm of the silent house?  It must have been tough for my mother to let me go, being the baby of the family, not having the love of her life to grow old with......I wonder how she coped with this "Empty Nest feeling"?

If my mum hadn't let me go...I never would have learn't to fly.....

It's not only my boys who grow from the decisions I make...It's me too! 

I'm letting my boys fly now too!

On my mind...Thinking of loved ones passed

Many thanks to Rhonda at Down to Earth for this concept.
This is a Friday photo feature that anyone with a blog can join. To take part, post a photo on your own blog, write a short caption explaining it, and link it back to here from your blog by saying you're part of "On my mind". Please write a new post, don't link to an older one. When you've done that, come back here and add a comment below, with  a link to your blog. 


I warn you, reading this post, you may need a box of tissues.......
I was going to write about the beetroot I have preserved and the stuffing balls I have made....but after reading Rhonda's blog post today..I think this is more appropriate.......

Christmas is a time when we reflect...a time for celebration yes, but also in many households...a time for sadness. Sadness for the pain of missing a loved one....sadness maybe because you are not where you wish you could be at Christmas. My thoughts go to the people who have recently lost a loved one, or that have a family member who is not long for this earth. Christmas is a time for me, when I reflect how fortunate I am....fortunate to have two wonderful sons, fortunate to have a wonderful husband, fortunate to still have one parent alive....fortunate to have good food at the ready, and good protection from the weather with a warm cosy bed at night.

I am fortunate for the love I am surrounded by.

One Christmas holidays 11 years back, I lost two nephews in the short space of 2 months.

One to each of my siblings....Such sadness, such heartache........

First was new years eve involving my sisters youngest...aged 20; he fell asleep at the wheel while driving home from work.....died instantly in the crash and was buried 10 days before his 21st birthday......

We still miss you David...Your sisters both miss you very much...

You would have made a wonderful priest. 

Second was on the 25th Feb, when my brother found his newborn son with no life, in his cot.....they call it Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. Donny was just 84 days old.....I guess angels are needed at all ages.....

Donny, your parents miss you very much, and so does your big sister....You have another sister and a brother now, who often think of you too.  

Having not met my nephew Donny until his funeral, I held his little hand....and whispered to him...."I'm your Aunty". 

Donny had a traditional Kiwi funeral at the house before being buried back in New Zealand beside other family members passed.

Growing up, Christmas memories have not always been the best for me...but becoming a mother has made many new and lovely memories which have replaced the bad ones......

I love my children, and am very appreciative that I have both of them in my life....We've had some extremely close calls where I thought my first born would be taken from me......having had a 'failed cot death' when he was just 2 months old, and a horrible skate boarding accident just a few years ago......

So yes, take time to reflect on your loved ones who are still with you.....and how fortunate you are....
But also give thought to the ones who have passed..........


Over the following weeks.....I will also be thinking about my niece and nephew in my husbands family.....who lost their father in a fatal car crash...at such a young age, not being able to remember him, not having the chance to get to know him........
I know you both miss what you could have had very much....Natasha and Zac, your father loved you sooo much.


Today, take joy in the family you have around you....you may come from a large family...or you may be an only child....you may have children, or you may not.....either way....somewhere.....you have family, because you were born....Think about the family that are not with you now.....especially the family you never met, because you were not born yet when they passed......


Take comfort in the family you do have around you.....
tell them each day, how much you love them......

My family history lives on

Genealogy is a wonderful task to take on. Preservation of life must be recorded. I wonder how we are to be acknowledged if our existence is not recorded. In many years to come, I know that my family can be easily discovered because I have taken on the task of recording my family's history. 

I always encorporate my motto in my daily life......
'Cause all time is wasted if not collecting memories